Friday 26 September 2014

Wake up and live! (Dealing with depression)


You're worth everything.

So since the unfortunate death of Robin Williams and his suicide; depression has come to light a bit more with the surrounding media and fortunately people are starting to speak up about it a little bit more than before.

What I've noticed from browsing social media and from doing some research recently is that a lot of people who are posting about their depression or just taking the first step and admitting that they suffer or have done in the past all seem to write: 'I'm not ashamed any more'. 

- First off depression isn't something to feel ashamed of, it's one the most common mental illness' in the world and it comes and goes in all of us. Some more than others, granted. But still all of us. Some times it can last for just a short period of time; for example, if something has happened in your life recently like the loss of a loved one. And sometimes it can hang around a little longer than we'd care for. It's like that bad smell in your fridge which you can never seem to find what food is causing it. 

I've written a post about depression before which can be found (HERE) so I'll try not to be too repetitive. In that post I spoke mainly about the facts of depression and looked a little closer to the figures.
I haven't planned this post in the way I would usually plan one, it's just come to mind and I'd like to regroup with you all a little bit.

Okay so with out rambling as best I can, I want you to see this post as I'm envisioning it in my head - two friends over a coffee and you've come to talk to me so we can have a heart to heart.

I suffer from depression. Yeah; if you hadn't of already guessed from my previous post I am now typing it out load. Back in June - June 30th to be more pacific I went to my doctor and cried my little heart out and left the surgery diagnosed with a series of illness' one of which being 'severe depression'.
Do you think I am a weaker person now for telling you that? I'd like to hope not.
A lot of people hide behind it and try and shove it into the back of their wardrobe, tip a load of clothes on top of it and pretend it's not there.
I did that too. It's taken me almost 3 months to be able to type that out loud and one of the main reasons for my blog was so that I could come here and get everything out of my head and into words for you guys to read - if you wish to.

However, those clothes will only last a certain amount of time before they get creased and have that funny clothes smell. You know when you can smell they're full of dust? So eventually you're going to have to take them out and hang them out to air one day.
That's how I see depression, not just in myself but in the others around me.
It's something we're all so afraid of, afraid of admitting, talking about, and even showing. But one day you've got to air it out - I'm sure you'll feel better for it eventually.

So why do people feel so ashamed to say they suffer? If you're asking me that question I'd say because it's a 'typical illness' a lot of people think anybody can get away with saying they have - just for some attention (which will bring me on to my next point in a mo!).
It's not plastered up in a cast, there isn't a massive bandage wrapped round it or an ice pack sitting on top of it to take away the swelling - ergo it's something you have to admit to people, it's something you have to bring up and actually speak about.
No one can sign your mind with a black marker pen and write 'Get well soon buddy'.
It's all in the mind, it takes up the space you let it inhabit.

"They're just saying it for attention, it's all bull" - this is one of my main pet peeves when it comes to this generation. Unless you can write on somebody's cast in that black marker pen, it mustn't exist.
But can I just stress as best I can without going off on a angry tangent - EVEN if somebody is doing it just for attention, that speaks volumes too! Why do they feel the need to create illness' just to get some attention? That's an illness' in itself and you have to tread very carefully when you're going to start pointing the finger and deciding you know somebody better than themselves.
Lets say it is just attention seeking behaviour that's a cry for help in itself. Step back and realise the severity of what they're saying.
I know people who do just come up with 'illness'' for attention - there is a massive difference in somebody claiming to have every illness under the sun to someone finally speaking up, even if they do generally seem happy - depression can still happen in the happiest of minds.

The road to recovery - This is the hardest path you're probably ever having to walk down, however there will be a time in your life when you reach the end of it. I can only give so much reassurance through a blog post unfortunately, but I just want to stress to the maximum - you're not alone lovely. It's a common illness and there is help available if you're willing to use it. "You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves" . 
Grab hold of what ever it is that makes you happy and cherish it - go for walks, take up a new hobby, spend more time with your loved ones.
Mainly, just appreciate your place on this earth, you're worth so much more than all your negative thoughts. You're beautiful from the core and outwards, you were brought in to this world to shine so do it and don't give up on yourself.
I understand you're going to have your bad days and everything might seem dark now but step back and look at what's around you, whether it's your other half, kids, best friends or just something you enjoy.
Take all that negative energy that's so tiring and channel it into positivity. It may seem hard at first but you'll find your feet soon enough.

Yes the world is big and scary, and it's so judgemental - understood. But you're better than anyone else's judgement. The only opinion that matters about you, is yours. So give yourself a break and work on that :)!

Thank you for reading. Just remember to keep smiling - you're beautiful!

Lots of love.
TTFN!
xxx

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