Showing posts with label self worth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self worth. Show all posts

Friday, 26 September 2014

Wake up and live! (Dealing with depression)


You're worth everything.

So since the unfortunate death of Robin Williams and his suicide; depression has come to light a bit more with the surrounding media and fortunately people are starting to speak up about it a little bit more than before.

What I've noticed from browsing social media and from doing some research recently is that a lot of people who are posting about their depression or just taking the first step and admitting that they suffer or have done in the past all seem to write: 'I'm not ashamed any more'. 

- First off depression isn't something to feel ashamed of, it's one the most common mental illness' in the world and it comes and goes in all of us. Some more than others, granted. But still all of us. Some times it can last for just a short period of time; for example, if something has happened in your life recently like the loss of a loved one. And sometimes it can hang around a little longer than we'd care for. It's like that bad smell in your fridge which you can never seem to find what food is causing it. 

I've written a post about depression before which can be found (HERE) so I'll try not to be too repetitive. In that post I spoke mainly about the facts of depression and looked a little closer to the figures.
I haven't planned this post in the way I would usually plan one, it's just come to mind and I'd like to regroup with you all a little bit.

Okay so with out rambling as best I can, I want you to see this post as I'm envisioning it in my head - two friends over a coffee and you've come to talk to me so we can have a heart to heart.

I suffer from depression. Yeah; if you hadn't of already guessed from my previous post I am now typing it out load. Back in June - June 30th to be more pacific I went to my doctor and cried my little heart out and left the surgery diagnosed with a series of illness' one of which being 'severe depression'.
Do you think I am a weaker person now for telling you that? I'd like to hope not.
A lot of people hide behind it and try and shove it into the back of their wardrobe, tip a load of clothes on top of it and pretend it's not there.
I did that too. It's taken me almost 3 months to be able to type that out loud and one of the main reasons for my blog was so that I could come here and get everything out of my head and into words for you guys to read - if you wish to.

However, those clothes will only last a certain amount of time before they get creased and have that funny clothes smell. You know when you can smell they're full of dust? So eventually you're going to have to take them out and hang them out to air one day.
That's how I see depression, not just in myself but in the others around me.
It's something we're all so afraid of, afraid of admitting, talking about, and even showing. But one day you've got to air it out - I'm sure you'll feel better for it eventually.

So why do people feel so ashamed to say they suffer? If you're asking me that question I'd say because it's a 'typical illness' a lot of people think anybody can get away with saying they have - just for some attention (which will bring me on to my next point in a mo!).
It's not plastered up in a cast, there isn't a massive bandage wrapped round it or an ice pack sitting on top of it to take away the swelling - ergo it's something you have to admit to people, it's something you have to bring up and actually speak about.
No one can sign your mind with a black marker pen and write 'Get well soon buddy'.
It's all in the mind, it takes up the space you let it inhabit.

"They're just saying it for attention, it's all bull" - this is one of my main pet peeves when it comes to this generation. Unless you can write on somebody's cast in that black marker pen, it mustn't exist.
But can I just stress as best I can without going off on a angry tangent - EVEN if somebody is doing it just for attention, that speaks volumes too! Why do they feel the need to create illness' just to get some attention? That's an illness' in itself and you have to tread very carefully when you're going to start pointing the finger and deciding you know somebody better than themselves.
Lets say it is just attention seeking behaviour that's a cry for help in itself. Step back and realise the severity of what they're saying.
I know people who do just come up with 'illness'' for attention - there is a massive difference in somebody claiming to have every illness under the sun to someone finally speaking up, even if they do generally seem happy - depression can still happen in the happiest of minds.

The road to recovery - This is the hardest path you're probably ever having to walk down, however there will be a time in your life when you reach the end of it. I can only give so much reassurance through a blog post unfortunately, but I just want to stress to the maximum - you're not alone lovely. It's a common illness and there is help available if you're willing to use it. "You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves" . 
Grab hold of what ever it is that makes you happy and cherish it - go for walks, take up a new hobby, spend more time with your loved ones.
Mainly, just appreciate your place on this earth, you're worth so much more than all your negative thoughts. You're beautiful from the core and outwards, you were brought in to this world to shine so do it and don't give up on yourself.
I understand you're going to have your bad days and everything might seem dark now but step back and look at what's around you, whether it's your other half, kids, best friends or just something you enjoy.
Take all that negative energy that's so tiring and channel it into positivity. It may seem hard at first but you'll find your feet soon enough.

Yes the world is big and scary, and it's so judgemental - understood. But you're better than anyone else's judgement. The only opinion that matters about you, is yours. So give yourself a break and work on that :)!

Thank you for reading. Just remember to keep smiling - you're beautiful!

Lots of love.
TTFN!
xxx

Monday, 15 September 2014

Let go of the bad to make way for the good


As human beings it's hard to be 100% happy all the time, if not impossible. We get bad news, sad news or just down right heart breaking news day to day or when we least expect it, no matter when it is, it's can some times feel like a constant struggle to perk yourself up. You're often sat asking yourself or someone near and dear when is it going to be over? When will the light at the end of the tunnel finally blind your eyes with happiness?

Happiness is a tricky one. It can come as easily as it can disappear, they're all types of happiness. Whether it's from your close friends and family, to having your dream job or even being spoilt by your other half with Christian Louboutins or just something cheeky like your favourite packet of sweets. It really does arrive in all shapes and sizes with a little bow on the top. 

And then there's something I've named minipulation happiness. It's the happiness that happens usually over a love interest or a 'close' friend and it's when you're in the frame of mind that they make you happy when actually all they do is make you a living misery and everybody around you can see it. They say love is blind, that I truly believe. 

-- This is the false sense of happiness which turns more into need. You feel like you need this person, or like they've cast a spell on you! Usually this type of false happiness/sense of need will happen after a break up or a certain incidences' depending on your situation. 
But no matter how much you think you need this person, ask yourself; are they really making me happy? 
Truly happy.. Do they have you crying of a night or turning your friends against you? 

I won't lie, I'm guilty of allowing this to happen to me. Sometimes you don't realise it's even happening until you take a step back. You need to put your happiness (solo happiness) first. Realise you don't need them and you're better off, trust me - - the world won't stop spinning, even if they're not around. 

Usually you can find happiness in the smallest of things, just the things you get nothing but enjoyment out of. It's helpful to remind yourself of this from time to time. Just so you don't leave yourself short. 


What makes you happy without relying on other people? 

Mine would definitely be; Horses, my cat Molly, animals in general, hot chocolate, The Sims, freshly painted nails, candles, duvet days, new pjs, log fires, long walks, slippers, the country side, arm chairs, bungalows, rich tea and reading Alice in Wonderland. 
Can you tell I'm 20 going on 60? Just call me Nana K! 

It can sometimes be the most simplistic which can make you happy and you just need to remind yourself. So if you're having a rough time or feeling a little low, do what makes you happy and puts a smile on your face, just for you. Without worrying about other people, just be there for yourself; you might even thank yourself for it afterwards. 

Always try and think of the positive even if you don't think you can. You've got to find the light even when you're at your darkest. 


Thank you for reading, until next time my loves 
TTFN <3 

Also.. 

How can you not look at this photo and just be happy? 

Bye now! Xxx

Monday, 28 July 2014

Let's have a chat (Depression)

"Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can "snap out of" by "pulling yourself together".




This is probably my hardest post to write to date, depression is such a sensitive subject to touch on.
Anything can set off depression, it can wash over you when you least expect it and it's so hard to understand, depression is a very serious illness - there are more than 350 million (aprox) who suffer from depression in a wide range of ages. 

I don't want this post to turn into a NHS self help leaflet but I do want it to give you some hope.
So you're feeling numb? You're sat in silence but inside you're screaming? No one else understands right, and nothing else matters - like one big black hole? 
I want to offer some reassurance that all them emotions are completely NORMAL more than likely each person on this earth will suffer from a form of depression at least one day in their life, it's not about comparison it's about dealing with who you are and what's going on in your current mind frame. 


I know personally that when you're depressed you become mentally and physically drained, there's no hope left and you've forgotten what happiness feels like, am I right?

HOWEVER - and it's a massive however, depression is one of the most common mental illness' that can be treated and around 80% of people make a full recovery.
My best advice to you is to kick it in the butt, go see your doctor, let them help you. Its not going to happen over night, it's going to take hard work and it will be hard sometimes to not let yourself fall back into that rut, but think of what's at the end when you're well again?
The best way to start 'recovering' is acceptance and help. You have to accept that it's become a part of you but it doesn't have to stay if you don't want it to and help is more than available - depression is so treatable, you just need to believe in yourself and you'll get through it. 


I want to keep this post short and sweet this time, I'm no expert when it comes to mental illness', I can only talk about my experience and offer some friendly advice.  

- Just remember pain is temporary and nothing will last forever. That black hole you feel like you're stuck in can be eliminated, believe in yourself and go and get the help you require and deserve. There's no shame whatsoever to having depression and you're so far from alone. Just remember that.

Until next time my loves - keep that chin of yours up. All useful links and posts from this 'series' will be at the bottom!
TTFN :) xxx


SIDE NOTE! This will be the last of my 'let's have a chat' series for a while, time for some fun blog posts I think!! If you still have any suggestions I'm more than happy to write about them - until then I hope you've enjoyed them and they've managed to help at least one of you :)! 


Useful and supportive links:
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/#.U9LBx_ldVzo
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/D/depression/
http://www.depressionalliance.org/  

Friday, 25 July 2014

Let's have a chat (Self - confidence)

"Sense of worth and self - confidence come when you accept yourself as you are. Not when you're trying to be what other people expect."




Lack of self - confidence can be something you experience any time in your life, at any age. There are many different forms depending on what you're self concious about and it can effect you in simple every day life. Whether it's about your weight, height, skin tone, age - the possibilities are really endless.
Self confidence issues are a tricky one to tackle since it really is all in your head, it might of been brought on by bullying or just from your own thoughts and insecurities but it really only is you who has the power to change it.


There's a lot of pressure in today's society to be 'perfect' but really, what is perfect? I can imagine your answer to be different to mine, or to the next person you ask. There really is no definition because we all have our own set of eyes and we all see things differently. 

I have suffered from a lack of self confidence, I don't want to touch on that too much though because it's not really relevant; so what is relevant you ask?  
Its what you see in yourself, it's everything you have to offer this world - with out sounding super cringe and cliché but you actually only get one life, and do you want to spend it hiding under a rock or showing the world what you're made of?


Them people you walked past in town before who looked you up and down, do you really think they care? There are 7.046 billion people in this world and do you really want to let one insignificant person matter? 

Like I mentioned there's no real 'cure' for self confidence it really is what you see in yourself. And at the end of the day, your opinion is the only opinion that truly matters - I know that's a lot easier said than done right, but you were put on this world to make something of it, if there really is something you don't like change it. 

Appreciate who you are, you're beautiful - everybody is in their own unique way, because that's what we are we're unique and everybody has the right to be what body size they are, what height and skin tone they are. Who is anybody else to put you down? 
- Just remember if somebody has a judgement to make, it says a lot more about them than it does about yourself. Rise above it, show them, wear that crop top or that red lipstick and f***ing own it! 

There are a lot of self confidence books which you can read if you really are struggling, but tomorrow is a fresh start and I urge you to make the most of - do something you wouldn't normally do, wear something you wouldn't usually wear or you've been too afraid to try on - realistically it's only you holding yourself back.

In the wise words of my mother and probably everybody else's parent's -
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".


And on that note my loves, it's been a pleasure and I hope this helps at least one of you - might not cure your confidence but it gives you something to think of and hopefully you'll take something out of it. 

Have a good weekend and I'll post on monday - all my other posts and etc. are linked below, show some love :)

Until next time guys,
TTFN! xxx

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Useful links: 
http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/confidence.html