This post is going to be a bit of personal advice post for relationships or whatever it is you're going through right now.
I've been in two serious relationships, both ended very differently and they both had their problems. When they ended it felt like the end of the world to me, I really thought I would spend my days crying and missing them all the time. Initially it was difficult; as it would be for anybody but you do get over it. If you're going through a break up right now -
1) You're not alone, make sure you're surrounded by the people who love you and care about you
2) It does get easier, one from girl to another - it gets easier. You're going to have your 'down days' but in the grand scheme of things they really aren't worth your tears because you're going to move on anyway.
3) It's normal to miss them and you're going to want to check your phone constantly but really you're doing yourself no favours. Preoccupy yourself, do something you've always wanted to do because at the end of the day if your phone isn't going off they're not getting in touch with you either.
So on to the main advice..
First of - you MUST be happy, whether that's with the guy you're in a relationship with, seeing and just generally in yourself. You want to be around someone who brings out the best in you and isn't making you feel low about yourself, if you're not happy with what's going on or in yourself when you're thinking about the relationship that's a clear warning sign right there. So, are you happy?
Make sure you're appreciated, I've been in a relationship myself and known of relationships were you're just not feeling appreciated. Whether that means they're looking at other girls, comparing you, making you feel self concious - that's just not acceptable. You're perfect no matter what and any guy would be lucky enough to have the chance to see that, don't get me wrong we all have our flaws but someone you're with should love you flaws n'all. Don't feel like you constantly have to better yourself or you're not meeting their 'standards' because I promise there's a guy out there who wants to give you all his love, attention and more. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate what they have in front of them.
If you're starting to question your relationship or something before it's even properly began it's not going to happen, you need to be 100% comfortable and committed. If you're having an instinct to leave or move on, just do it. That instinct is there for a reason. Are you feeling relieved when you're not with that person or in their company?
Communication is key in a relationship, if you're not happy or you want something to change to try and make improvements as scary as it is, speak to them. As much as we'd all love to be no one is a mind reader, you can't expect things to change if you're not open with the other person.
Don't ever feel rushed, this personally is one of the worst feelings for me. There's absolutely no time frame on when you should be in a relationship, I find relationships always work best when you take your time, you don't need the added stress of feeling rushed or pressured by somebody. Expectations, if you've been seeing somebody even if it's going well or you've just had a fling but they might want something more or your friends are going on at you to make something more of it; never just do what is 'expected', weigh up your feelings and if you're not feeling comfortable or you're not ready or perhaps you tried and you just don't want it to go any further, that's okay!
And to wrap it up, trust. With out a doubt the single most important factor when you're involved with somebody. Trust is a very sensitive, fragile emotion and logical act, you really don't want to lose that in a relationship because you're going to start questioning everything and driving yourself insane. If the trust is gone out of your relationship, walk away - it's only time before you start being super paranoid, questioning them and yourself. You can never regain trust - especially if it's been lost through cheating, as hard as you want to try you're always going to have that voice in the back of your head.
I hope this post doesn't come across as condescending - I'm by no means an expert in relationships, just see this as some advice that I would give you if we were two friends sat drinking coffee.
Everybody deserves to be happy, respected and appreciated - trust me there's somebody who will make you feel them three things and more. There's no shame in being hurt and there's no guilt in breaking up with somebody. At the end of the day it's you who has to live with yourself so be kind to yourself and make sure you're happy!
Until next time my loves, I really do hope you can take something small from this -
TTFN :)
xxx
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