"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you."-Oprah Winfrey
So recently I had a very good and close friend of mine open up a little bit about his current situation with his girlfriend, for obvious reasons I have to keep him anonymous - but the main 'problem' in their relationship right now is that she isn't happy with the lack of passion between the two of them.
Relationships are like a full time job, even for those who have found their soul mates struggle at the best of times. Unfortunately humans aren't robots who can be programmed to exactly what we like/want out of them. No body is a mind reader and there's times in EVERY relationship that the pair of you are going to mess up, even if it's over something as trivial as buying the wrong brand of beans; it doesn't take much to set someone off, especially if they've had a lot going on in their head recently.
Back to my friend - so, like I mentioned he came to me with this problem and just to have a little bit of chat.
Now I've never been asked on advice for passion before, when he text me I was little stuck in answering, so I asked more questions whilst I had a good think of some advice I could possibly offer...
Now I've never been asked on advice for passion before, when he text me I was little stuck in answering, so I asked more questions whilst I had a good think of some advice I could possibly offer...
If you're struggling in a relationship right now, or you're trying to handle the same problem as this one here are my tips that I think could potentially help...
1. Show your love in small, adventurous ways -
Everybody loves something spontaneous, especially women. I don't think I know anybody who wouldn't love to come home to a little note on their pillow, or hidden somewhere they're going to find it easily. Bring home something sentimental you know they're going to love, even if it's their favourite packet of sweets, cook dinner for them - something they've said they have felt like for ages but haven't got round to making. You'd be surprised how much of an impact the little gestures can make.
Everybody loves something spontaneous, especially women. I don't think I know anybody who wouldn't love to come home to a little note on their pillow, or hidden somewhere they're going to find it easily. Bring home something sentimental you know they're going to love, even if it's their favourite packet of sweets, cook dinner for them - something they've said they have felt like for ages but haven't got round to making. You'd be surprised how much of an impact the little gestures can make.
2. Shake, shake, shake, shake, a' shaaaaake it!
Who doesn't like to rock the boat a little bit some times? You need to push through the 'I'm fed up' barrier that's going on right now. Try something new, take up an activity or hobby together. Even going for a day trip and having a picnic is something that gets you both out of the house. Go see a play, a comedy show or if it's on a tight budget - cook something brand new together, learn together and achieve together.
Who doesn't like to rock the boat a little bit some times? You need to push through the 'I'm fed up' barrier that's going on right now. Try something new, take up an activity or hobby together. Even going for a day trip and having a picnic is something that gets you both out of the house. Go see a play, a comedy show or if it's on a tight budget - cook something brand new together, learn together and achieve together.
3. Be generous with your praise -
This applies to both sides of the relationship. 'You look absolutely beautiful/handsome baby'. Now come on, who doesn't like to hear that? Feeling appreciated is one of the main keys in a relationship, especially if one of you isn't feeling so 'hot' so to speak. Even manners are a massive thing, saying 'thank you' or just offering a hug once they've done something for you is special. Acknowledge and value your partner, show them how much you appreciate them in your own unique ways - and I'm sure they'd be very grateful for it.
This applies to both sides of the relationship. 'You look absolutely beautiful/handsome baby'. Now come on, who doesn't like to hear that? Feeling appreciated is one of the main keys in a relationship, especially if one of you isn't feeling so 'hot' so to speak. Even manners are a massive thing, saying 'thank you' or just offering a hug once they've done something for you is special. Acknowledge and value your partner, show them how much you appreciate them in your own unique ways - and I'm sure they'd be very grateful for it.
4. Create an intimate time -
We all become so surrounded and drowned with technology and social media. It's easier these days to just text somebody something rather than discussing it in person. Something I've seen often in a relationship, is the two people sat their both on their phones and only communicating if they see something they feel the need to comment on, on Facebook. That is not healthy under any circumstances.
Pack it in! Put your phones away in a draw or turn them off, either or.. And just enjoy each others company, put your favourite film on that has made you both laugh numerous times and cuddle up with a good drink and some goodies! It's going to do no harm to you or your social media status if you don't go on-line or post a status for one whole night! Cherish the time you get to spend together. Obviously I know it's healthy to have that balance, it's important to have your own space and your own time; but if this is becoming a regular problem and communication is starting to die down, rectify it whilst you still can.
We all become so surrounded and drowned with technology and social media. It's easier these days to just text somebody something rather than discussing it in person. Something I've seen often in a relationship, is the two people sat their both on their phones and only communicating if they see something they feel the need to comment on, on Facebook. That is not healthy under any circumstances.
Pack it in! Put your phones away in a draw or turn them off, either or.. And just enjoy each others company, put your favourite film on that has made you both laugh numerous times and cuddle up with a good drink and some goodies! It's going to do no harm to you or your social media status if you don't go on-line or post a status for one whole night! Cherish the time you get to spend together. Obviously I know it's healthy to have that balance, it's important to have your own space and your own time; but if this is becoming a regular problem and communication is starting to die down, rectify it whilst you still can.
5. Communication: Clearly, honestly and frequently.
My last 'tip'; I've probably mentioned this a thousand times already when I'm giving relationship advice, however I don't think there is anything more important than them 3 mini points. You can't get anywhere with that frog in your throat.. sorry I can't understand you properly! Clear that throat, know what you want to say and what the problem is or something you'd like to change, take a deep breath and go for it! You will feel so relived afterwards, there's nothing worse than something eating you up inside.
Honesty. Sorry I don't remember the last time lies worked in a relationship, do you? Honesty is MASSIVE, let me repeat M-A-S-S-I-V-E. How do you expect any relationship to work if it's build up on lies and manipulation? Nip that in the butt right now, honesty is the best policy and you might actually get somewhere if you tell the truth and you're honest with your partner.
Frequency. Don't let things build up inside, you owe it to yourself to let your feelings out and you owe the respect to them to share what you're feeling. If you don't frequently open up one day you're going to explode and that might just be that one push too far...
My last 'tip'; I've probably mentioned this a thousand times already when I'm giving relationship advice, however I don't think there is anything more important than them 3 mini points. You can't get anywhere with that frog in your throat.. sorry I can't understand you properly! Clear that throat, know what you want to say and what the problem is or something you'd like to change, take a deep breath and go for it! You will feel so relived afterwards, there's nothing worse than something eating you up inside.
Honesty. Sorry I don't remember the last time lies worked in a relationship, do you? Honesty is MASSIVE, let me repeat M-A-S-S-I-V-E. How do you expect any relationship to work if it's build up on lies and manipulation? Nip that in the butt right now, honesty is the best policy and you might actually get somewhere if you tell the truth and you're honest with your partner.
Frequency. Don't let things build up inside, you owe it to yourself to let your feelings out and you owe the respect to them to share what you're feeling. If you don't frequently open up one day you're going to explode and that might just be that one push too far...
Thank you for reading, like I often say read this as myself talking to you over a coffee in a friendly way. Think about your situation and now put your best friend in your shoes, what would you say to them if their relationship is struggling?
Respect yourself, don't just stick around if the flames gone out. You deserve the best, do you hear me? The absolute best lovely :)!
Until next time my loves,
TTFN xxx
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