Let go of the bad to make way for the good

As human beings it's hard to be 100% happy all the time, if not impossible. We get bad news, sad news or just down right heart breaking news day to day or when we least expect it, no matter when it is, it's can some times feel like a constant struggle to perk yourself up. You're often sat asking yourself or someone near and dear when is it going to be over? When will the light at the end of the tunnel finally blind your eyes with happiness?

Happiness is a tricky one. It can come as easily as it can disappear, they're all types of happiness. Whether it's from your close friends and family, to having your dream job or even being spoilt by your other half with Christian Louboutins or just something cheeky like your favourite packet of sweets. It really does arrive in all shapes and sizes with a little bow on the top. 

And then there's something I've named minipulation happiness. It's the happiness that happens usually over a love interest or a 'close' friend and it's when you're in the frame of mind that they make you happy when actually all they do is make you a living misery and everybody around you can see it. They say love is blind, that I truly believe. 

-- This is the false sense of happiness which turns more into need. You feel like you need this person, or like they've cast a spell on you! Usually this type of false happiness/sense of need will happen after a break up or a certain incidences' depending on your situation. 

But no matter how much you think you need this person, ask yourself; are they really making me happy? 

Truly happy.. Do they have you crying of a night or turning your friends against you? 

I won't lie, I'm guilty of allowing this to happen to me. Sometimes you don't realise it's even happening until you take a step back. You need to put your happiness (solo happiness) first. Realise you don't need them and you're better off, trust me - - the world won't stop spinning, even if they're not around. 

Usually you can find happiness in the smallest of things, just the things you get nothing but enjoyment out of. It's helpful to remind yourself of this from time to time. Just so you don't leave yourself short. 

What makes you happy without relying on other people? 

Mine would definitely be; Horses, my cat Molly, animals in general, hot chocolate, The Sims, freshly painted nails, candles, duvet days, new pjs, log fires, long walks, slippers, the country side, arm chairs, bungalows, rich tea and reading Alice in Wonderland. 

Can you tell I'm 20 going on 60? Just call me Nana K! 

It can sometimes be the most simplistic which can make you happy and you just need to remind yourself. So if you're having a rough time or feeling a little low, do what makes you happy and puts a smile on your face, just for you. Without worrying about other people, just be there for yourself; you might even thank yourself for it afterwards. 

Always try and think of the positive even if you don't think you can. You've got to find the light even when you're at your darkest. 

Thank you for reading, until next time my loves 

TTFN <3 

Also.. 

How can you not look at this photo and just be happy? 

Bye now! Xxx

Let's have a chat (Depression)

"Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can "snap out of" by "pulling yourself together".

This is probably my hardest post to write to date, depression is such a sensitive subject to touch on.
Anything can set off depression, it can wash over you when you least expect it and it's so hard to understand, depression is a very serious illness - there are more than 350 million (aprox) who suffer from depression in a wide range of ages. 

I don't want this post to turn into a NHS self help leaflet but I do want it to give you some hope.
So you're feeling numb? You're sat in silence but inside you're screaming? No one else understands right, and nothing else matters - like one big black hole? 
I want to offer some reassurance that all them emotions are completely NORMAL more than likely each person on this earth will suffer from a form of depression at least one day in their life, it's not about comparison it's about dealing with who you are and what's going on in your current mind frame. 

I know personally that when you're depressed you become mentally and physically drained, there's no hope left and you've forgotten what happiness feels like, am I right?

HOWEVER - and it's a massive however, depression is one of the most common mental illness' that can be treated and around 80% of people make a full recovery.
My best advice to you is to kick it in the butt, go see your doctor, let them help you. Its not going to happen over night, it's going to take hard work and it will be hard sometimes to not let yourself fall back into that rut, but think of what's at the end when you're well again?
The best way to start 'recovering' is acceptance and help. You have to accept that it's become a part of you but it doesn't have to stay if you don't want it to and help is more than available - depression is so treatable, you just need to believe in yourself and you'll get through it. 

I want to keep this post short and sweet this time, I'm no expert when it comes to mental illness', I can only talk about my experience and offer some friendly advice.  

- Just remember pain is temporary and nothing will last forever. That black hole you feel like you're stuck in can be eliminated, believe in yourself and go and get the help you require and deserve. There's no shame whatsoever to having depression and you're so far from alone. Just remember that.

Until next time my loves - keep that chin of yours up. All useful links and posts from this 'series' will be at the bottom!
TTFN :) xxx

SIDE NOTE! This will be the last of my 'let's have a chat' series for a while, time for some fun blog posts I think!! If you still have any suggestions I'm more than happy to write about them - until then I hope you've enjoyed them and they've managed to help at least one of you :)! 


Useful and supportive links:
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/#.U9LBx_ldVzo
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/D/depression/
http://www.depressionalliance.org/  

Let's have a chat (Self - confidence)

"Sense of worth and self - confidence come when you accept yourself as you are. Not when you're trying to be what other people expect."

Lack of self - confidence can be something you experience any time in your life, at any age. There are many different forms depending on what you're self concious about and it can effect you in simple every day life. Whether it's about your weight, height, skin tone, age - the possibilities are really endless.
Self confidence issues are a tricky one to tackle since it really is all in your head, it might of been brought on by bullying or just from your own thoughts and insecurities but it really only is you who has the power to change it.

There's a lot of pressure in today's society to be 'perfect' but really, what is perfect? I can imagine your answer to be different to mine, or to the next person you ask. There really is no definition because we all have our own set of eyes and we all see things differently. 

I have suffered from a lack of self confidence, I don't want to touch on that too much though because it's not really relevant; so what is relevant you ask?  
Its what you see in yourself, it's everything you have to offer this world - with out sounding super cringe and cliché but you actually only get one life, and do you want to spend it hiding under a rock or showing the world what you're made of?

Them people you walked past in town before who looked you up and down, do you really think they care? There are 7.046 billion people in this world and do you really want to let one insignificant person matter? 

Like I mentioned there's no real 'cure' for self confidence it really is what you see in yourself. And at the end of the day, your opinion is the only opinion that truly matters - I know that's a lot easier said than done right, but you were put on this world to make something of it, if there really is something you don't like change it. 

Appreciate who you are, you're beautiful - everybody is in their own unique way, because that's what we are we're unique and everybody has the right to be what body size they are, what height and skin tone they are. Who is anybody else to put you down? 
- Just remember if somebody has a judgement to make, it says a lot more about them than it does about yourself. Rise above it, show them, wear that crop top or that red lipstick and f***ing own it! 

There are a lot of self confidence books which you can read if you really are struggling, but tomorrow is a fresh start and I urge you to make the most of - do something you wouldn't normally do, wear something you wouldn't usually wear or you've been too afraid to try on - realistically it's only you holding yourself back.

In the wise words of my mother and probably everybody else's parent's -
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

And on that note my loves, it's been a pleasure and I hope this helps at least one of you - might not cure your confidence but it gives you something to think of and hopefully you'll take something out of it. 

Have a good weekend and I'll post on monday - all my other posts and etc. are linked below, show some love :)

Until next time guys,
TTFN! xxx

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Instagram: kirstie_howarth 

Useful links: 
http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/confidence.html

Let's have a chat (Anxiety)

"Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) - GAD is a long-term condition that causes you to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than one specific event.

People with GAD feel anxious most days and often struggle to remember the last time they felt relaxed. GAD can cause both psychological (mental) and physical symptoms. These vary from person to person, but can include feeling restless or worried and having trouble concentrating or sleeping."

So since my blog post yesterday did quite well and I got some positive feed back, I thought I'd make 'Let's have a chat' into an advice series. Like I mentioned yesterday I do not mean to be condescending in any way whatsoever, just see it as two friends having coffee. 

As I mentioned in my always running post (< which I've linked) that I recently got diagnosed with a series of things, severe anxiety disorder being one of them, which I now take daily medication for on the highest dose. 
But I don't want these posts to just be about me and my experience, obviously it'll be touched on but I'm here to try help you so lets get cracking...

Do you ever feel trapped? 
I'd be amazed if your answer was 'no, never in my life' - anxiety comes in all forms and it's basically a fancy word for worried/nervous. You often get that knot feeling in your stomach before an exam, interview or something similar - it's common and completely normal.

However anxiety ranges on a scale, like 1-10 and there will be people who suffer in small situations such as I've exampled ^ or there will be some people who can't leave their house because of it. Not only does it range but there are many different forms, most common is social. 

I know first hand that when you first start suffering with anxiety or when your head starts coming to the realisation that you might be suffering from symptoms you start freaking out more because it can be quite confusing and you're so unsure of what's happening, however I would just like to stress the best I can YOU'RE NOT ALONE, anxiety disorder is unbelievably common and it's one of the worst feelings in the world when you think you're alone and that no one will understand or comprehend what you're going through, but seriously there's so much help out there and you can even find it on the internet (I'll post some useful links).

Every body will go through a stage of anxiety in their life, however if yours has started to effect you daily, if it's causing you to isolate yourself or starting to make you antisocial I urge you to go see your GP. I know it's a scary thought, there's nothing worse than when that feeling or thought you've known for long time becomes real; but it might not be as bad as you're thinking it is. Part of it could always be linked to the worry of actually going to see your GP, you might even feel a sense of relief. On the other hand your GP might diagnose you with everything you already thought and you might be put on medication, there are many different types of anxiety medication but it's there to help, obviously some are stronger than others but no matter what it is or dosage, it's there for you - to help you. 
(It's very uncommon for them to give medication, they'd usually try a different strategy first) 

One of the most common feelings whilst suffering from anxiety is the thought of feeling trapped. You're not trapped in anything in this life, there's a way out of everything. If you're starting to panic in public or at a friends house just take yourself a way for a few minutes, either on your own or with a friend and breathe. Sounds like simple advice right? Just breathe. However it's the most effective, you need to reduce that heart rate that's just shot up and get your breathing back to a normal breath. Look at the sky, take in what you see around you, count to 40 sheep, or simply just sit down and close your eyes and focus on your body. You can get out of every situation, you can take yourself home or to somewhere you feel safe. That's the most important, making yourself feel safe and comfortable. 

Friends - If you're a friend to somebody who suffers from anxiety, patience and talking are going to have to become your best skills. You need to put yourself in the shoes of the person taking the panic/anxiety attack and realise that even if it's a hindrance to your day, they're struggling and they need you now more than before. Usually chatting away to the person who's suffering will help as it'll give their brain a different focus. Tell some rubbish jokes, tell them about your most recent one night stand or even what your mums cooking you for dinner, it really doesn't matter.  Reassurance is a huge key, they're not alone and you need to make sure they know that.

To end this post -  The longer you put off help the longer you're going to have to deal with it. Doctors are there for a reason, so give them that reason to do their job ;)

But on a more serious note; keep yourself safe, surround yourself by your nearest and dearest, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

SIDE NOTE! I just wanted to say a massive thank you to anybody who's read my blog so far, it's only been live 23 days and already received thousands of views which is mind blowing! Also a massive thank you to Marcus for sorting out my domain name. 

If you have anything you'd like me to cover please feel free to let me know, I'm always open to suggestions :)

As always my loves, have a fantastic day, keep smiling and remember nothing lasts forever! 

Until next time - TTFN :) 

xxx 

Useful links:

NHS anxiety mental health disorder

http://www.nopanic.org.uk/

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

My facebook: Facebook

Twitter: Tweet me

Instagram: KIRSTIE_HOWARTH

Keeping motivated

I find when you have a lot of spare time keeping motivated and demetermained to succeed in whatever it is you have an interest in can become hard work, especially if you're feeling low about yourself you often find yourself putting off the simple things you like doing like going for a walk round your local park or something's similar. 

I have a lot of spare time right now, I'm currently off work due to medical issues and going from working 40+ hours a week to well.. None is a massive change for somebody.

I'm not going to lie, I've had my down days where I haven't felt like doing much and I've sure as hell had my days that have been filled with boredom and I just want to get out the house. 

Back when I was in work all I did was moan about wanting to be at home or asleep and now I have all the time in the world all I do is think about wanting to be doing something with myself and my life. 

Here are some tips/advice if you're like me right now and you're not working or you can't work for whatever reason, don't let yourself go insane from doing nothing day in and day out; keeping yourself motivated and active is one of the biggest struggles I've recently found out but here's how I do it... 

I'd like to think I'm a pretty organised person, I am very forgetful though and making lists even just simple ones such as this one ^ really helps keeps me focused and when I'm unsure of what I'm doing or need to be doing I'll always check back to make sure I'm on top of everything; plus I think keeping lists is a much more efficient way to run your day.  

So, since I don't have to be up for much these days and I'm having difficulty sleeping I will usually let my body rest until it naturally wakes up, usually around 11. 

Then I have to take my medication, I don't normally forget to but I like to have it on the list just so I know it's definitely done.

I'll usually either make a smoothie and then work out or vice versa, which ever my body feels like doing. I'm going to put up a post on some smoothies I've been making recently and my work out routine is already posted - but I just like to work out every day to get the blood pumping and the body woken up, plus is it just me but when you know you've worked out you automatically feel good about yourself and motivated for the day? My routine is 7 minutes long it's hardly like you can make an excuse to miss that ;) 

Then obviously take a shower, cool down, wake yourself up some more, freshen up - I love feeling clean! 

I will usually then check my list and it's normally just full of small jobs or just things I've been meaning to do and haven't had the time to get round to yet or things that have just sprung to mind recently. Even though small jobs such as painting your nails isn't exactly the most stimulating, it's just for filling to get things done. I'm a ticker, do you like to tick your lists off? Satisfying huh! 

I will often try to get a post up every day or at least every couple of days. I took this blog up as a hobbie, something to give me a bit of focus whilst I'm off and just somewhere to express myself, and oh boy hasn't it worked a treat. Even though this blog isn't my job it definitely gives me something to think about, gives me something to look forward to and a way for me to get things across - so I urge that if you're thinking of starting one, do it! I personally will never regret it. When you have so much time on your hands taking up hobbies or voluntary work is so important I find, it gives you something to fill your days with. 

If I have plans coming up since I suffer from anxiety I usually like to pack or plan and get everything ready and sorted the day/night before, I find this helps massively. Especially because that way if you do forget something's when you're packing, you're allowing your brain time to remember them the next morning before you go. Genius I tell you! 

Finally get your butt off that sofa and out that bed! Go see your girls (or boys), see the other half or even just go for a brew with your nan. There's nothing worse than sitting in all day feeling sorry for yourself and drowning your sorrows in a cup of coffee. Socialise, you'll feel a lot better for it. Take a spontaneous day trip, what's the worse that can happen?

Hopefully some of these tips will help some of you. The biggest key when you're off work or just feeling unmotivated is to think positive - you may be bored now or feeling low but remember only you have the power to change that. Enjoy your own company and use it wisely, and once you're fed up of yourself go annoy someone else with your company ;) 

There's no shame in having no motivation, we're only human and you can't have it together all the time, however this blog post isn't giving you tips on how to run the world, anyone can make a list and stick to if you truly try, and honestly I'm sure you'll thank yourself for it :)! 

If you've managed to read this far down I'm majorly impressed and grateful, I have the tendency to go off on a tangent but I really do hope you enjoy the post and hopefully you can take something small from it. 

Until next time, 

TTFN :)