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| (No relevance to post, just love the photo) |
I get very excited at the thought of blogging and being able to produce amazing content which people enjoy reading.
When my mind goes off day dreaming it normally goes a long the lines of, home, coffee and blogging. There really is something quite.. therapeutic and rewarding about it.
So where have I been?
I believe the term most commonly used is writers block or being completely shit scared.
I've always been here, reading, even some odd bits of writing that haven't been 'published'. I've just never written something I'm 100% happy with to post, which explains lack of.
I get a lot of questions in regards to this blog. Most people seem quite shocked if I mention that I do 'own' one, or that I've neglected one over the past year.
It always amazes me how intrigued people can be and I have no idea why which is interesting because I live and breathe bloggers/ vloggers. I'm great at being nosey.
I do have a lot of ideas when it comes to content, I have an idea of which direction I'd like my blog to take off, I admire so many people who have became successful just from loving their hobby and realistically creating themselves a business. If you choose to leave your 9-5 to make money off your own back, writing and working for brands - you're a business man/woman. Which I think is very admirable.
Where did it all go wrong?
(This could get deep, apologies). So way back when I started this little gem as most of you will know or even if you were to look back now at the content I was sharing, I wasn't well. I had a lot of free time and needed something to do, to occupy myself if you like.
I decided to sign up to blogger and just start writing about personal experiences, things I was or wasn't dealing with so well and try and just get them off my chest for a start but hoping it might help someone, even if it was just making them realising they're not alone.
I started getting 5,000 views and I thought at most I'd get about 5 per post. I'm still so grateful to every person who's viewed or shared my blog, it does mean a lot.
Once I started to get better and I was running out of issues to talk about (LOL) I started to panic. I started to worry that no body would want to read just about boring old me, and nobodies really interested in where I spent my weekend, or what I've bought from ASOS recently.
So I stopped, I lost my mojo and I hated myself for it. I put a ton of pressure on myself and I panicked that people would start disliking my blog and quite frankly, think it's crap.
Confidence is my main struggle (I'm sure I'll do a blog post soon, more issues to talk about, my fave).
I care too much about what others think of me than just being myself and enjoying my life.
I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I have a support system of amazing people around me, but I do hold back from doing a lot of things I either know I'm good at or know I enjoy and that's my main problem.
So what to expect?
Nothing. Lol, jk.
Hopefully something. This post doesn't have much of a direction, I sat down today and I just wanted to write, like I have done for the past few months - I just want to write, create and share.
So that's all I'm going to try and do.
For those who do enjoy reading my blog and seeing what I can come up with, there should be more content coming soon so please stick around and keep coming back, I love having you here ;).
I hope I can make something of this blog, if not for the people who enjoy it at least for myself so I know I've tried and loved trying.
Can't tell you when you'll hear from me next. Soon.
But until then..
TTFN.
K x
